April 30, 2020

22nd – 30th April (Inclusive) 2020 – A mixed bag of crazy and some sunshine

So, the last few days have consisted of not a lot which could be considered earth shattering (aside from one moment) but fortunately for me and unfortunately for you I have promised myself that I would keep my posting cycle up as much I could during lockdown.

The 22nd April started by reading on the news that Donald “the largest waste of pee pee love butter who popped out of a foo foo” Trump had made yet another staggeringly inspired statement of utter bollocks to the American nation. I am sorry if that offends any of my state side readers – but honestly, he’s a cock.

I cannot believe that the supposed leader of the free world would seriously suggest that the Corona virus could be “cured in a minute” by injecting disinfectant (or bleach as it is known in the UK). He further went onto suggest that making use of high yield Ultra Violet Radiation could also aid in clearing the the illness.

“I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in one minute. And is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside or almost a cleaning, because you see it gets in the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs.”

“I said supposing you brought the light inside the body, which you can do either through the skin or in some other way. And I think you said you’re going to test that too… So, we’ll see, but the whole concept of the light, the way it kills it in one minute – that’s pretty powerful.”

Whilst making these proclamations he states “I dunno, I am not a doctor; but it all sounds nice” – at one point during the address he asks Deborah Birx (Ambassador at Large and coordinator of America’s responses to HIV/AIDS and a qualified medical doctor) what she thought. The look on her face said “what the fuck are you talking about you mad tanned bastard” the response she gave was perhaps one of the most diplomatic I’ve seen from anyone who’s been put on the spot by a fucktard.

So, now – to quote Trump – “I am no doctor” but as I was reading this through blurry eyes this morning I couldn’t help but muse “so, the the answer to our prayers of not dying from COVID is to die through injecting bleach into you” – something that I am pretty sure I’ve been told all my life not to do – you know what I mean, your mum or dad telling you to never drink bleach – pretty sure that extends to not injecting it into the bloody stream; but hey I am no doctor.

I know that in the UK Domestos used to have the sales tag line of “Kills all known germs dead” – but the awkward thing was that it had the same effect on humans if drunk, inhaled, injected …. in fact … it pretty much kills humans if you do anything with it other than clean your bog.

Who needs a vaccine … the answer has been under our noses!

Furthermore, Trump claimed that by bringing UV lightinside you” could be a “pretty powerful thing” in the treatment of COVID-19.

How the fuck does that actually work?

Do you think that he had watched Blade the night before? Do you think that because UV light worked in the fight against the Vampire disease the Corona virus could be eradicated in same way (I mean it came from bats right, vampires are bats …. ipso facto UV light is a practical alternative to poisoning yourself with bleach!).

I mean shit … it worked for Blade right?

Of course by the end of the 23rd the Whitehouse and Trump were claiming that “his remarks were taken out of the context” and that he was being “sarcastic“. I watched the press conference – the remarks were not taken out of any context and he was being a cock – not sarcastic.

I find it hard to believe that anyone in the right mind could find him credible – he is still the president of the United States and there will be those who watched this morning and perhaps took it seriously purely on the basis of the office he holds.

Even one death as a result from the comments Trump made is too many and he should be held accountable – but he won’t as he still inexplicably has the support of the majority of the American people. It seems that even in the land of the free, one of the most dangerous freedoms is to be stupid.

23rd – 30th April

Anyhow away from the Dissident of the United states – some bits have started to arrive for some home projects that I have been discussing with my other half. I discovered today that there is nothing like receiving a power tool in the post to make you feel like a man!

However, that being said – I have found that whilst a power tool may make you feel like a man, with great power comes great responsibility (always wanted to be Spiderman) and not paying attention to a torque setting and speed on a new drill whilst tightening a drill bit can lead to the odd smell of burning flesh – in this case MY burning flesh!

That aside, I am looking forward to the rest of the bits arriving. I have always liked the idea of trying to build a nice home initially just for me and my son, but now as somewhere that my other half can stay and enjoy some creature comforts that she has had a hand in building. Small things like knowing where the tea bags are and how the cupboards are organised can mean quite a lot and I might get a cup of tea 🙂 (if you read this love – I am kidding(ish)).

One of the key achievements during this period of lockdown has been the installation of a shower screen in my bathroom of doom. For those of you who don’t know me (which is pretty much all of you) I hate my bathroom. I have a lovely flat (its no mansion – but it is my place) and I adore every room apart from the bath room.

If I owned the place, I would rip everything out of the bathroom and start again. It’s a small, pokey room which due to the the way in which it was painted and the really poor extraction fan means that I spend most of my time battling damp and mould (sounds amazing, right).

However, back to the shower screen. I have a bath with a shower built in – and I shower every single day.

Over the last eight years when running the shower, inexplicably, around 90% of the time when I get out, the floor would be soaked (first world problems). It’s not a leak, there is no damage to the bath and there are no other pipes running in the area. So, after extensive beer based research I formed a hypothesis that the shape of the bath at the back end forces water up and underneath the shower curtain when the shower head is at a very particular angle.

So, here enters my solution to the problem – a sealed shower screen! My plan was seal the back end of the bath with something stylish and then for the front of the bath use a shorter width shower curtain – all of which sounds great in theory – but I wasn’t sure how it would work in practice!

Naturally, it wasn’t a simple case of just getting a screen. I am OK with DIY – but, not having a background in it inevitably when I take on projects I forget something that I will need – or – need to spend time researching how to do a certain process right. It can feel very alien as having worked in IT for as long as I have – I am used to just knowing what to do and what I will need; but at the same time it is quite exciting as I learning new things.

I have learned that you will need masking tape to drill through tiles without cracking them and that you need to run the tape as a cross over the length and width of the tile. I have learned that nylon Raw Plugs are way better than plastic ones.

I have also learned that guessing at sizes or having an attitude of “that looks about right and will do” often leads to “oh fucking hell ….” so knowing how to use a measuring tape and understand diameters really helps.

The upshot is that I now have a lovely shower screen that most importantly has stopped the flooding of the bathroom floor – its the small things in life that matter, especially during a time such as the one that we find ourselves in.

My Shower Screen of Dreams.

However, today (30th April) has without a shadow of a doubt been the best day that I have personally had on lockdown. It’s such a terrible thing that people are separated from their loved ones and in the worst cases those they love are dying and they cannot be there to support them. During COVID I know people who have contracted the virus and know some who have sadly passed away. These events have reminded me of how much I miss my son who until today I hadn’t seen since just before the lockdown happened.

Today he came for a visit for the afternoon. I cannot tell you how happy it made me to see, hug, chat, joke and just watch a film with him. Of course before he came we have spent months making sure that all of our respective “bubbles” under lockdown didn’t present a risk to us or others, making sure that there were no symptoms of the virus present for a long period of time.

The only health risk present was the large amount of pizza that was consumed!

Lockdown Pizza Order of Dreams

I finished today feeling the most complete that I’ve felt in a long time. I just need to see my other half when the time allows and that will be me totally happy.

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